Horrible Little Cunt!

I'm the first one to admit that I know fuck all about soccer-ball and from what I hear, he's apparently a pretty decent player but can anyone deny that Wayne Rooney is a horrible little cunt? I saw this picture and was moved to words. It's probably stating the obvious but I think it needed to be said nonetheless. It really bothers me that he's only twenty-five and he's already written - well, had published let's say - an autobiography which was actually released when he was fucking twenty-one! What the fuck, besides a few matches, does he or any twenty-one year old for that matter, have to write about?

Horrible little cunt......

just testing

Gentlemen.
I got one of those new fangled iphones today. So far I am unable to use internet on it, all of my previous text messages have dissapeared and typing in text requires the delicate hand of louis XIV. There is a compass on it however.

The Deadliest Warrior

I decided that I wanted to start blogging again after reading about the fucking shambles that is Anglo-Irish/Mary Harney continuing as Minister for Health/Ireland. Then I decided that there are already lots of people posting and writing about these topics and that it's only bollox anyway. At this stage, nothing short of an armed uprising is going to save the country.

Anyway, enough of that. What I'm going to write about instead, is my new all-time favourite TV show (Marc's jury is still out but I bet Paul loves it too) - The Deadliest Warrior! It's utterly, utterly ridiculous but one of the most entertaining things I've seen in years. All those drunken pub arguments are finally laid to rest. The basic idea is that two historical warrior types are pitted agin each other in a hypothetical battle to the death. Each "side" has it's own experts who put forward the case as to why their warrior would knock the bollox out of the other and then the resident boffins crunch the numbers in some made-up computer program (it looks like a spreadsheet actually) to see who'd win.

The best parts are when the experts demonstrate the different weapons on these mannequins made from ballistics gel, bones and gunk representing brains, blood, guts etc. and then slag off the opposing side. Last night's episode was A Pirate vs. A Knight. One of the guys SMASHED a morning-star into the dummy's head completely obliterating it's skull.......


Knight Expert - Awwwww dude, you are GOIN' DOWN! Your brains are gonna be stuck in your beard n'shit. You ain't gettin up from this man. Like, no way.

Pirate Expert - Yeah? I'm just gonna step aside when you swing that thing then shoot you in the balls with my blunderbuss!

It's fucking hilarious. One of the things I really love about it is the unadulterated joy they exhibit when something particulary nasty and violent happens. Again, last night's episode showed the effects of the Pirate's Granada (a bit like an 18th century nail bomb) on a pile of pig carcasses. It exploded and tore fucking lumps out of the pork. The lads could barely contain themselves with the whooping and hollering. I just know that I'd be the same....

Quality tv it's not but it's still a fantastic concept. It's just so unbelievably tacky. This is the ad for the current second season. Any ideas? Yes - you've guessed it! A Viet Cong vs. A Nazi SS Officer! What a fucking brilliant idea! Some of the upcoming battles are between types - Saxons vs Trojans, Persian Immortals vs. Aztecs - and then actual historical figures - Robert E. Lee vs. Pancho Villa, Genghis Khan vs. Attila the Hun (I'm actually laughing here). anyone any ideas of who they'd like to see? Me, I'd go for Charlie Haughey vs. Galileo. I just fucking bet that Charlie would be an eye-gouging, ear-biting, cheek-hooking King of the Travellers type fighter and he'd have that telescope up that guinea fucker's arse before you could say Moriarty!