Thursday, February 12, 2009

A Few Truths.

Over the course of a few days, I made a few observations along the lines of 'everyone remembers a day when a dog wandered into your school' and I've decided to share.

1) The War Against the Skulls is an international affair and applies to public transport workers the world over. They are among the world's fucking rudest and most unhelpful people and should all be sacked oweh their jobs. Robot buses and trains are the future - long live Skynet!


Oooooh I 'ate you everybody!


2) The condensation that forms on crowded train windows is made of breath and filth and under no circumstances should you get it on white shirts.

3) People who deliberately drive their cars through puddles to splash innocent pedestrians, are UTTER cunts and should be shot with balls of their own shite. I particularly hate looking like a wanker while trying to scramble out of the way in time.

4) People with short legs should never sit down on public transport - anywhere, for that matter - as you look really fucking stupid if your legs don't touch the ground. Especially if you insist on swinging them back and forth.


Load of bollox, short legs are.


5) Coffee always tastes better outside and tabs rock - I'm holding out for a cure. That's two points in one but as tabs and coffee go together, I'm making it one.

6) Marc was probably right - mark those words mate - and Radiohead may be one of the greatest bands of the modern era. Fake Plastic Trees is a classic.

7) These annoying lists are usually written by smart-arsed, smug, uppity little fuckers of cub reporters in weekend supplement magazines out to make a name for themselves with their oh-so-fucking-cleverness. So I'll stop.

1 comment:

Marc said...

I like the fact that you went with 7. Fuckers who do lists of The Top Ten..... I hate. As for number seven, you are almost right. replace "may" with "are" and you will be bang on.